intro to me and my blog

This is my first blog entry so I'm just gonna write a little something about me and why I decided to start blogging... I was always opposed to blogs because I didn't want to really put myself out there like that, but with facebook and twitter being so big in my life I felt I needed another outlet to say things on a more in depth level and also to even say stuff I don't necessarily want friends or even family to read on facebook. On twitter I tend to just say whatever the hell I want so if u ever follow me on twitter ur gonna hear some ignorant n crazy shit come out my mouth. I'm a complicated and relatively intelligent person who often uses sarcasm and rudeness to shield myself from people truly getting to know me. I am by no means a shut in or closed off from the world, despite the fact that I don't always enjoy socializing in large groups I still do it with friends a good amount because it help to keep me from being too self focused and is like immersion therapy kind of for me. I do have social anxiety disorder, or agoraphobia if u ask certain doctors, and also have issues with being bipolar/manic depressive. I do take meds and go to therapy regularly so overall I'm stable and def not crazy. I'm not a violent or off the wall person, I just suffer from these illnesses that often lead to eratic thoughts/behavior, insomnia, depression, manic periods, discomfort in social situations are common, and I have night terrors. I do often struggle to live life to the fullest and even function on any level some times. But I manage to work full time, do graphic design on the side, and live a relatively fulfilling life for the most part. Yes all of my diagnoses make life very hard at times and do affect my ability to maintain healthy stable relationships with family, friends, and especially girl friends. I don't say all of these things because I want people to feel sorry for me, and more importantly don't want people think I'm crazy/unstable. I say them just so you can get a better understanding of where I'm coming from with future thoughts/blogs. Also I put it out there because some people can't deal with their own issues which often might correspond to mine. I want those people to know that they are not alone, and despite how difficult things can be you have to keep trying to live your life, that is if you truly want to. I also know there are different levels of all of these ailments and realize mine are not as severe as many other peoples, so I won't presume to know what you go through or even if you can overcome certain things that maybe I have/can. But also do not presume to know me or what I have been through, because if you haven't lived my life there is no way for it to be real to you as it is to me. Again I've seen people in far worse situations than me so I know things can be often be more difficult. So I guess all I can stress to anyone that decides to read my blog is please don't judge me, and I will give you the same courtesy. You may not always agree with what I say or my approach to certain things, and that is fine. Feel free to post comments/thoughts/etc on my wall and I will respect your opinions if you respect mine. That's all for now bloggers, I will be posting a lot at times and other times I might not post for days so enjoy and look for my next entry....

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