Fuck Your Feelings

My second entry is dedicated to the past and present feelings of others regarding me and my attitude. Often people do not understand or agree with my sense of humor. Also they feel that my sarcasm is a bit much and can be perceived as quite rude. I tend to say outlandish things and make off color remarks, simply for the hell of it. Perhaps even more so for the shock and awe that it brings when I see peoplems reactions to what is said. I don't entirely know why I say some of the ridiculous things I do. Part of me really doesn't care how they react, but another part of me also tends to feel like maybe if I make them uncomfortable or throw them off balance so to speak, then perhaps I will not feel awkward or unease myself. As I stated before I have social anxiety issues and take xanax to relieve them, especially when a panic attack occurs. This might offer some insight as to my reasons for attempting to make others feel similar to how I frequently do. Overall I have one philosophy when it comes to these people that feel slighted by me or get upset/uncomfortable because of my remarks.... Fuck Your Feelings!! Lmao... That is not to say I don't try to respect others and their comfort levels in general. It is simply to note that I don't have the time nor do I wish to exert the emotional effort it takes to worry about how you feel on a deeper level. I respect those that respect me and my personailty. If I have offended you without just cause, then 8 out of 10 times I will apologize if there truly is a reason to do so. However, if you are simply being over sensitive and/or desire me to be something I am not, then again I say Fuck Your Feelings. I have endured a good amount in life that has made me who I am, and if this means at times I am crass or sarcastic than I am accepting of that. I often put up a good front and appear confident even when not truly feeling so. My harshness and unpolite candor is frequently a facade that I require to feel accepted or simply comfortable in my own skin when interacting with others. Another part of my personality tends to come from being a so called northerner....meaning I am from a relatively large city in the northeast region of the U.S.A. It is apprent that people from the northern region are commonly viewed as rude, fast pace, and sarcastic in their ways. I have found this to be true in many ways, so some of my personality I believe can rightly be blamed on my socialization in a particular geographic location. Yet, I do not use this as an ecuse for my ways. I know that I am who I am, because it is who I have chosen to be. A person's surroundings and environment do shape them, but ultimately it is up to that individual to choose how much of what he has experienced is going to influence/overtake him. This is not to say that certain environments or upbringings do not yield a specific type of result, meaning sometimes people go through so much fucked up shit that they don't know how to overcome it and change who they have become. I on the other hand accept that many things have contributed to the type of person I am and how I choose to speak/act. I did study sociology so I can see how we are socialized and how are environment plays a big role in who we become, but I do believe in personal respnsibility as well. I choose to be sarcastic, crass, curse, forward, and even overwhelming at times....but that is me. I'm fine with it, now all I expect of you is to accept me for me. Also I expect you to let me know if I have unnecessarily offended you, because if I was truly wrong then I have no problem apologizing. If not then....I think you know by now....FUCK YOUR FEELINGS!!! Lmfao....get over it people. Words are usually just words. Yes in some instances people attempt to hurt others emotionally with certain words but in my case I am just expressing what I'm thinking or simply just fucking around and saying whatever comes to mind. In my opinion some people need thicker skin, or just a better vocabulary.... no but really, I think we all need to take a second and step back to see why we get so offended over little things. Life is harsh and life is complicated people, so don't waste time worrying about how someone expresses themself if they are not directly trying to offend/hurt you. And again, if you feel like their words are an attack on you, then say something because you might find that they were not intending to do so....and if you don't speak up.....yes, that's right...FUCK YOUR FEELINGS!!!

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